Twin Oaks Community - visitors-and-guests👥

Really disappointed in the people that voted Visit Again on Eden for ableist reasons and because they were worried about extracting her value. Grow a heart. Go join a corporation if humanity doesn’t factor into your decisions. There’s a ton of space outside the community for people like that. I think we should be providing an alternative that is based on compassion. (edited)

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anon1

Really disappointed in the people that voted Visit Again on Eden for ableist reasons and because they were worried about extracting her value. Grow a heart. Go join a corporation if humanity doesn’t factor into your decisions. There’s a ton of space outside the community for people like that. I think we should be providing an alternative that is based on compassion. (edited)

Yeah, I've said it before and I'll say it again, the anti-autistic-ableism in this community has become really blatant, and its absolutely fucking disgusting and disappointing. I'm thinking it might be time for MHT to start being as proactive in combating this as RET has been in combating racism this year...

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12:27 PM

It’s definitely worth a community meeting

anon1

It’s definitely worth a community meeting

I'll look into setting something up

We’re a home of 90 adults, we work and live on top of each other, we greatly impact one another. If 10 of those 90 adults are bringing up concerns about a potential new member, maybe you should seek to get more info from them. If 10 people feel like that impact is too great, that’s probably very telling and I appreciate the people that spoke up.

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anon2

We’re a home of 90 adults, we work and live on top of each other, we greatly impact one another. If 10 of those 90 adults are bringing up concerns about a potential new member, maybe you should seek to get more info from them. If 10 people feel like that impact is too great, that’s probably very telling and I appreciate the people that spoke up.

Yeah, i just think “got sick” isn’t a good faith criticism.

For what it's worth, I actually think most Oakers are neurodivergent. TO attracts all sorts of neurodivergence, but is particularly well-suited to certain flavors of neurospicy. For example, we definitely have some long-term members with ADHD for whom the system provides just enough structure, and we also have a lot of hyperlexic autistic-spectrum types with low support needs who thrive on the bureaucracy. The neurodivergent folks who don't do well here, and/or don't get accepted, are most often those with higher support needs.

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anon3

For what it's worth, I actually think most Oakers are neurodivergent. TO attracts all sorts of neurodivergence, but is particularly well-suited to certain flavors of neurospicy. For example, we definitely have some long-term members with ADHD for whom the system provides just enough structure, and we also have a lot of hyperlexic autistic-spectrum types with low support needs who thrive on the bureaucracy. The neurodivergent folks who don't do well here, and/or don't get accepted, are most often those with higher support needs.

Thanks for engaging

I never met Eden, so this comment isn't directly related to her. I also think saying this next bit in person would allow for more nuance, but I wanted to say something about this general situation. I think we often forget that some people who have higher needs often really struggle here. It feels like acknowledging that we don't have the capacity to care for everyone is the right thing to do (most of our buildings aren't even handicap accessible!) What I see time and again is people with good intentions who rally and promise offers of personal "long term" support to get co with higher support needs here, the community agrees with reluctance. Next thing you know the people who were offering support stop for one reason or another, life gets in the way, they get busy, they leave. The person with higher needs then isnt getting the support they need, and they deserve better than that. It's a hard situation for everyone involved. Good intentions don't equal time and energy or good systems to take care of folks. Not being realistic often ends up hurting the very people we sought to "protect." Let's figure out how to design those systems of care while being realistic about our capacity as a community.

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Thanks for commenting. That is much more substantive than “got sick”. I do think this is a conversation worth having as a community.

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It used to be stated very specifically in visitor orientations that this is not a therapeutic community. Maybe that became an unpopular thing to say because of trying to be more inclusive even though it didn't stop being true.

anon1

Thanks for commenting. That is much more substantive than “got sick”. I do think this is a conversation worth having as a community.

Also, remember that CMT does not post the full written input as it’s written by members, otherwise the paper would be pages long. “Got sick a lot” is likely the easiest way to say much more that multiple people wrote down.

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anon4

I never met Eden, so this comment isn't directly related to her. I also think saying this next bit in person would allow for more nuance, but I wanted to say something about this general situation. I think we often forget that some people who have higher needs often really struggle here. It feels like acknowledging that we don't have the capacity to care for everyone is the right thing to do (most of our buildings aren't even handicap accessible!) What I see time and again is people with good intentions who rally and promise offers of personal "long term" support to get co with higher support needs here, the community agrees with reluctance. Next thing you know the people who were offering support stop for one reason or another, life gets in the way, they get busy, they leave. The person with higher needs then isnt getting the support they need, and they deserve better than that. It's a hard situation for everyone involved. Good intentions don't equal time and energy or good systems to take care of folks. Not being realistic often ends up hurting the very people we sought to "protect." Let's figure out how to design those systems of care while being realistic about our capacity as a community.

interesting to look back on this comment 2 months later...

2:44 PM

(I agree with you, anon4)

2:44 PM

Anyway, came here to post this: This was posted on the 3x5 board a few days ago, and will stay posted near the Guests 3x5 area. Sharing here for added visibility. Guesting Update: CMT is working with Legal to propose guest policy changes. For now, please contact CMT in advance of hosting anyone for more than a week. Do not plan to host anyone for longer than 27 days. The best way to reach CMT for timely communications is by emailing us: cmt@twinoaks.org

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